Work In Colour - Work. Think. Live. In Colour
Tuesday 3rd May 2011 | 9 comments
I've been re-reading the rather marvellous Transitions by William Bridges. I have long used his approach as a resource with clients, since I first came across it in the early 1980s. (Actually I bought the new edition as an audiobook, so I've been 're-listening' to it during long walks with our dog...)
It's a great resource when the ground under you shifts, as it demystifies the process, clarifies the difference between 'change' and 'transition', and gives good practical advice alongside encouraging tales of fellow transitioners.
I am revisiting this book at the moment because I'm working through some deep changes in my personal life, but much of the book is in fact aimed at people who are changing careers, or life roles, or having internal shifts at times such as mid-life.
Sooner or later, that covers all of us. So, I thought I'd share a few of his ideas.
William Bridges divides the transition process into three phases: He calls these Endings, the Neutral Zone and New Beginnings.
Endings
Periods of transition generally (though not always - sometimes these phases go out of order) start with an ending. You lose your job, or realise you hate it. A relationship ends, or someone dies. You wake up and realise your old life is no longer satisfying, or you can no longer live it the same way due to age, infirmity or other circumstances. Whatever the catalyst, it's important to acknowledge that something has gone, changed or been taken away. Until you do, you can't fully move on, into...
The Neutral Zone
One of the reasons I remembered Bridges' work so clearly is that (as a longstanding Star Trek tragic) when I read this section of the book, I thought the Neutral Zone was a fabulous and powerful metaphor. It refers to the phase where you are between the old and the new. It's like the fallow field or the pause between sounds in music. You can't force this phase, but nor should you let yourself wallow or stall here.
Ideally, you'd go away during this time, do a retreat or some other form of contemplative practice. Given the constraints of modern life, this is not always possible, but if you can honour the need for time out, you'll be able to manage this process better. Maybe make time to meditate, or take long walks, write in a journal, or...?
This is not a time where prescriptive processes or 'join the dots' recommendations are of any use. It's messy, it's organic and it doesn't follow a formula. No more advice to give you here, just be authentic and go with it. Be mindful of where you are in the process, seek help or comfort if you need it, accept that this is a necessary part of dealing with stuff.
New Beginnings
First signs here are subtle, something like those first little shoots in spring, so watch out for small outer or inner signs or clues. Whether in career or personal life, this stage is a chance to really create your own new life. Make the most of it...
So, I'd love to hear from you. I'm still in the Neutral Zone this time around, maybe I'll see some of you there. What have been your experiences with this?
Tag: change
This is a great reminder of the importance of that transition time and allowing the space for the process, rather than wanting to rush ahead to the 'solution', where everything is ok again (as I am so often inclined to do). Thanks Joanna!
I love William Bridges work on transitions, so it was great to be reminded about it in your article today. Working with these three phases when you are going through a transition is very powerful. Thanks for the reminder...
Deb and Deb, thank you. I also love to rush to the solutions, and find sitting in uncertainty really really uncomfortable. Having a resource to help you make sense of it definitely helps, though. That's why I rediscovered Bridges' work...
I think this is also a boundaries issue. Sometimes it takes a long time to get to the end of the 'endings' bit... finally letting go, realising things or people won't change to how you want them.
Realising and accepting that something has ended, with no going back is the beginning of the mixing pot of grief, reflections and looking forward, considering new possiblities and daring to think of some previous impossibilities changing to acheivable... and as the mix mixes, re-evaluating in both directions... and also time to just 'veg' out and let things settle, the yeast rise, the cake cook.
Then don't miss the miracle of seeing the little green shoots, and realising you're into the next paddock of new beginings.
Leanne, thank you. I love the yeast rising reference - that sense of something happening, but slowly and in its own time. It's a process you can't control, no guaranteed time frame or outcome (especially if we are literally talking about cooking with yeast, in my case!). Great insight.
My last ending was brought about by a birth, and I think I bypassed the neutral zone totally.
Before I knew it, I was doing something totally new (living in new country, new job, different industry, doing the working mother juggling act :)
This time around the ending has come from within, and I would say due to not spending enough time in the neutral zone. Now I am stuck in the neutral zone - like in a snow drift that is just a little to thick and a little too deep, wondering if I am heading in the right direction at all. Certainly more 'me time' or focus on 'me' is needed at this point.
Frustrating to say the least. Spring is here, now where are those little green shoots?!
Heather, thank you. So much in this one comment...nice realisation about the downside of jumping (or being pushed) too quickly across the phases. It also touches on the distinction between a change and a real transition - change is thrust on us sometimes, but transition requires an internal process. It is possible to absorb change without having a transition, but it can sometimes come back and beg you for attention some time later. Good luck and here's hoping the shoots arrive before too long.
I am just ordering the book. This kind of speed I like.
Cheers and a big thankyou
I have listened to the book and I am in two minds about it.
It is on the one hand very exciting, because it summarizes what we are dealing with... on the other hand it is very "American" and seems to offer the-way-to-go when you follow the thought process.