Work In Colour - Work. Think. Live. In Colour

Sudden Changes

Tuesday 6th July 2010 | 4 comments

What a week...in Australia we have seen a change of Prime Minister (almost) out of the blue, we have seen Australia - and a whole heap of other countries - out of the soccer World Cup, we have seen contestants eliminated from Masterchef as well as some eliminated contestants brought back in. Some of you may think that it's silly to mention Masterchef in the same sentence as the Prime Minister - let alone the soccer - but it's not silly, not at all :)

Of course it's not just about the high profile stuff. We have all known people whose lives have changed without warning through an illness or redundancy, or that inner shift that signals the need for abrupt and often disruptive outer change - leaving a marriage, a job, a country.

Maybe it's happened to you. Maybe it's happening to you right now.

Change can feel like we are stepping into a void, through a door into empty space...and indeed we are, in the sense that we cannot know what the future will bring. We have to trust - but it's not about trusting in the world or fate or the kindness of strangers. It is rather about trusting in our own capacity to weather whatever lies ahead. Our ability to move forward into change has a lot to do with our capacity to deal with uncertainty, our capacity to handle disappointments and even betrayal...and still not give up on ourselves.

It is useful to embrace and accept the processes of transition as much as possible, but this is sometimes easier said than done. Here are some tips for minimising the impact of transition on those around you, and helping you take care of yourself.

1. Take your time, where you can: Change takes time, and often 'slow cooking' is the way to go - although sudden change can feel more like you have been picked up and tossed into the fire. Each transition has its own pace, and if you can find and respect that pace, it will be a smoother trip. Be patient with yourself if it seems progress has stalled. Ask yourself: Are things still simmering away slowly on the stove, or have I turned the jet off altogether? So long as its cooking at its own pace, all is well.
2. Arrange temporary structures: Do you need a bridging job? Do you need to arrange extra support from friends or at home? Are there people you need to clarify your situation with? Do you need more space to be alone at the moment? What personal environments will best support you at this time?
3. Think before you act: When we feel uncertain or uncomfortable, there can be great relief in doing something, anything, to ease the pressure or take away the feelings. Be wary about this urge to move - often the longer you can stay in uncertainty, the more likely your deepest needs and urges will bubble to the surface.
4. Accept that you are uncomfortable: In times of transition, feelings of distress or being lost or scared are just signs that something in your world is changing. The more you can accept that they are just feelings, the easier it will be. Whether it is anxiety, resistance, fear or anything else, breathe into it, get to know it and go with whatever is there.
5. Talk it through: Call on your support team (sometimes all you need is time out with a friend, even if you don't talk about your own life). If you want a more structured program, feel free to email me about coaching...
6. Take extra care of yourself: What works for you - is it long walks, time with friends, a fun book, nourishing food (chocolate...)? Look after yourself 110% during stressful times. Be gentle with yourself if you can't see all the answers or seem to be straying off course - treat yourself as you would treat your best friend during a difficult time.

What works for you during times of change?

Tag: change

Comments

1. Nice one, Joanna. As a big fan of your work, I was about to say: 'Don't go changin'.

   But now I'm not so sure! :)

   Posted by Paul Hassing | Wednesday 7th July 2010 @ 8:39am

2. Ha ha, thanks Paul!

   Posted by Joanna Maxwell | Wednesday 7th July 2010 @ 9:40am

3. Hi Joanna, I did coaching with you last year and have quietly been enjoying your blog since we finished up! I was in a period of enormous change last year - a very welcome change of career which was followed immediately by a company merger! This meant I needed to fight to keep the job I had only just moved into a few months before. And a new relationship flourishing at the same time! I just wanted to endorse seeking coaching to get you thru this time! I found it so helpful to focus on strengths and talents, and not to mention having tasks to focus on to keep you moving forward. So thanks Joanna! I still think about things we discussed, I'm very happy in my job and have a much clearer sense of who I am and what my talents are!

   Posted by Philippa | Friday 9th July 2010 @ 7:48am

4. Philippa, thank you so much for this lovely endorsement, I'm so glad you got so much out of our sessions. Even more, I'm glad that your life is going well for you! Thanks

   Posted by Joanna Maxwell | Friday 9th July 2010 @ 9:00am