Work In Colour - Work. Think. Live. In Colour
Tuesday 26th October 2010 | 12 comments
Yesterday I filed a story for a big Australian magazine. I've written for them before, and the story was a commission, but it still brings up the same old anxiety, the one about rejection. Everyone living a creative life knows about the 'R' word. (And if you don't, you are not living close enough to the edge.)
I remembered the first piece I write for this editor, a few years ago now. It was on a topic on which I knew a lot...maybe too much. At the start, the piece was long, unwieldy and not very well tied together. I did a couple of rewrites in consultation with the editor and finally all was well. The piece was slated for the July edition of the magazine. Then an email arrived: could I redo the piece, this time from a different perspective and including some recent developments...there was a kind but clear hint at the end that if it was all too difficult, maybe we should just forget it.
There it was: I was on the edge of that rejection thing. I remember I sat with it for a couple of days, uncomfortable to think I hadn't done the perfect article and it hadn't received the perfect reception. Imperfect me, imperfect world. All sorts of feelings and inner voices popped up...loss of confidence, hopelessness, maybe I couldn't write after all, shame about not being good enough, wondering if this writing gig was really worth it.
This rejection stuff is painful. I know that to be a writer is to be rejected some of the time, but it still stings when it happens. I told myself all the standard stuff (all the suggestions I give my journalism students):
It still stings.
In fact, it's actually about persistence, and about trust: trust in my ability to handle rejection, trust in the writing process, trust that it was all worth while, even if not every post was a winner. Ultimately, it was about trusting that whether it worked out as I expected or not, this is in fact the right thing for me to be doing right now...this is the process, boulders, bogs and all. And so I did the final rewrite and all was well.
And I do trust myself enough to keep taking risks..
(But I still hate waiting for the email from the editor...)
What about you? Do you trust yourself enough to risk rejection?
Tags: creativity, trust
Hi Joanna. Thanks for another wonderfully frank post.
I HATE writing stuff that doesn't get used. The beauty of having your own blog (or Squidoo lenses) is that you can 'publish' anything that doesn't get up in your 'day job'.
Sometimes, the act of putting it up regardless of what the other person said is enough to make you realise that ... they were right!
At other times, backing yourself in this way bears fruit in unexpected ways.
So, whether it's a lesson in humility or fresh accolades, nothing is wasted.
That's what I do, anyway. Best regards, P. :)
The more I write on my blog, the more I am thinking of it as my 'main' writing outlet...I think I am starting to save the best for here :) I think I enjoy both the writing I do for an external gatekeeper and the 'being my own boss' kind - a bit like the challenges of working with clients v private projects - both have valuable lessons.
Most useful...I recently submitted something to a web page editor and as far as I know it will sit on his laptop until it ages beyond even novelty interest. It had heaps of input and lovely photos, it was a photo related Apps review for Iphone use, I asked him straight up if it was unusable let me know and I'd offer it elsewhere. He didn't and I haven't but your article makes me think I should at least get the honesty of rejection!
Thanks Again.....
Oh, this all rings so true with me!
I still get a butterfly-nerves feeling in the pit of my stomach whenever I send new work off to a client.
But I have realised over the years that I've learned the most from the times I've failed. So no matter how painful it is (and it IS painful to re-write something... on top of the emotion of feeling not-quite-good-enough) I have learned to embrace feedback in whatever form it takes.
I love your blogs Joanna - thanks for sharing!
David and Sara's comments reminded me of that old saying 'The truth will set you free, but it might piss you off in the process' :)
So David, yes I would ask the direct question (good luck) and Sara, yes, I too have learned most from failure - and I am working on the embracing feedback bit!
Yes rejection hurts
And I am working on not taking it personally. Reminding myself that people sometimes are scared and not skilled enough to do better than what they do.
We are all teh same... nobody is weaker or stronger
And we grow and learn
Thanks Astrid, good stuff, very true.
Thank you for this amazing blog entry. I'm not a writer but I think this applies to anything / anyone.
Rejection is painful, especially when it's something you've worked very hard on. It could easily make your confidence and self-esteem plummet because many people would immediately think it is because they / what they've done is simply not good enough. It's very difficult to force ourselves to step back, look, think about the situation, and tell ourselves that perhaps it is not personal. Maybe it is just the situation, the circumstances, or simply wrong timing that led to the rejection.
You are so right that we should try and learn from it, and really try to not take it personally and remember that even the greatest people in history have been rejected countless of times in their lives.
To learn from this, and grow stronger. What doesn't kill us, or accept us, makes us stronger.
You have inspired me to reflect upon my thoughts and experiences of rejections. Thank you so much. I hope you don't mind me referencing this blog entry on my blog.
Betty, thank you - and yes, I'm always happy for links to other blogs! Much appreciated.
G'day Joanna, Thanks for your blog. I'm procrastinating at the moment on sending something off. Maybe it's fear of failure rather than fear of rejection, or maybe both. While I don't send it there's hope, and probably some delusion!
I guess it's also a boundaries issue. Some things that I've had rejected I still believe are good work, but the wrong recipient. It's their view verses mine. They are entitled to their view, but that doesn't mean I have to agree with them. Writing can be such a subjective thing.
We can try seeing a rejection (or multiples) as facts to be dealt with rather than feelings to be felt. The feelings will still come and getting them out will probably release other stuff that's been building up... but after that, trying to see it in perspective may help... a little bit.
Leanne Bowie
Leanne, love your comments - and yes, the 'F' word also looms large here. (If you click on 'failure' in the word cloud to the right of this post, you can see a couple of posts I've done on this - the comments are particularly revealing. With writing, I try and remember what Virginia Woolf said: It's the writer's job just to do it and send it off, it's not their job to critique it...interesting idea.